My haven
by havenincognito
Summary: Paige and Emily have always loved each other but is that it? This is definitely a Paily story but they have their share of hardships, pain, distress and distance to overcome. How these events come around and play out, we'll have to see. Rated K for now. Will definitely turn into M later. This is my first story and honest opinions are always welcome.


**Emily's POV:**

"It won't be easy tomorrow."

That's it. A kiss. A hug. And she was gone. No. she wasn't gone for good and this was not what was supposed to happen to us. I know she loves me and I love her. So much. That moment when I saw her walking away from me, I wanted to run to her, scream at her , plead her , hold her and never let her go. I wanted to rip myself apart for the pain that I was feeling inside was becoming increasingly unbearable. I wanted to confront her and question her because she had no right to decide for us. Maybe I knew this was soon to come, this moment right now inevitable but she was supposed to know. She should've known that all i ever wished for was fulfilled in the disguise of her perfect self. I know I led things too far to be handled but I came back. Eventually. To her. I realized I wanted her and us and our dream of building a life together. But right now, standing here, in the middle of this airport, watching the love of my life walk away from her I realize all I want now is time. All the time that I lost staying away from her.

"Atlantic city huh?", I mutter to myself. For a fleeting second I thought lets just hop on that flight but then again I couldn't leave without watching Ali pay for what she did. Hell, if I could go to Atlantic City I would have as well followed Paige to Cali. Paige. Just this word and my body feels numb. My knees tremble and my heart….it scares to beat out of my chest. After all this time, I still get butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

" _Your eyes….",_ I love to think that she thinks of me when listening to a song. But right then it hit me, it might just be the last time she's ever dedicated some song to me. I didn't even realize that all this while tears were freely making their way down my face. Paige. I now realize how she must have felt went I went to New York, that too without any closure. At least I knew about this for some time now but Paige, I just bombarded her with the situation and its solution without even caring about her. Blinded by my immature infatuation, I guess I forgot that Paige was the real deal. The only person I wanted. The only person I wanted to give my all to. But now that I am finally aware of it, she's gone. My Paige is gone.

 **Paige's POV:**

I could see the love in her eyes. The love that I had pined for. The longing- I could feel it. A part of me wanted to run away, hop on that flight and fasten my seat-belt so tight that the seat itself would prevent me from doing anything other than planned. While the other part- it just wanted to grab Emily and kiss her senseless. There she was- the epitome of sublimity-the girl of my dreams, begging me to stay, to be with her, to love her, to not let her go, to fight for her, for us. But just the thought of fighting made me feel weak. Made me want to halt in time. Made me want to give up and accept defeat. No. I will not think about it. Its rude and selfish but I guess Emily will move on. Not that I want her to but I HAVE to want her to. And all I pray for is that she finds someone who would love her with all their might and never leave her like I did. Never give up on her. Actually that's the whole point. I mean if I cant protect my love and stand up for her, how can I ever make her happy? I know Emily is oblivious to all my flaws but I know I have them and I know how grave they are. I guess its time I realize I am not capable enough of giving Emily the life she deserves, the love, affection and attention she deserves. Emily is perfection and I'm just one of those fortunate people who are satisfied being in the mere presence of this perfect being. And it has to stay that way.

You know that moment when you fall in love with someone? It actually is kinda magical. Like you always want to be with them and you want them to be your constant. You trust them blindly. You just want to build a world that has the two of you in it. Like your haven. You want to wake up next to them and welcome a new day and you want to look forward to coming back to them. You want to get engulfed in their warmth and love. You want them to be with you during your lows and highs. You want them to hug you tight whenever you are having a bad day. You want to sit beside them and talk about nothing and everything. You want to lie beside them, holding hands, doing nothing but just revelling in the feeling of being together. Enjoying the bliss of spending your time with someone you love. You know that feeling where you just want to look at the person you love and actually get lost in them? You want to lose track of time because you are so engrossed in picturing your future with that inexplicably beautiful, sexy, intellgent, humorous, thoughtful and patient and in a word, perfect person in front of you. You want to watch them smile, blush and shy away. You want to experience all of them. You want to bury your face in the crook of their neck and keep hugging them for an entirety because that's exactly where you belong. You want to savour the feel of your intertwined fingers being a perfect fit. You want to get into an argument with them because you know you're not perfect but you want to try for them. You want to start something which is real-something which is not just your bubble of happiness because you want to spend with forever with them. You want them to ground you because they are your anchor. You actually want to do all that you can just so you can make them smile. You want to get lose in their eyes. There are times where you have this burning desire to get to know all of them. You want to kiss them into oblivion. You want to idolize every part of them. You want to watch them fall apart beneath you because you like knowing you're capable of loving them in an irrevocable manner. You want to be there for them whenever they need you. You want to kiss their tears away and you have the urge to peform the minimalest acts of tenderness like placing a gentle kiss on their food. Unless you love cooking, you actually want to cook for them because you just want to do something for them. Its true you know, they actually bring out the best and worst in you. But then again, having a partner means having someone who will guide you and support you and be with you and love you effortlessly through it all. No one can actually describe what love is! It is a simple word and you love a lot of people. But being in love…it cannot be described. At least I don't know how to do justice to it by using flowery words. All I know is that I am in love with Emily Fields.


End file.
